And now I feel it is appropiate to introduce my three children a little bit closer. After all, when you do not have a past, the future lies with the children, does it not? Since he is my eldest, I will let Fredrik tell his story first.
My name is Fredrik and I am the eldest son, but I am also the black sheep and my mothers big disappointment. Not strange at all, come think of it. I mean, you have to be the odd bird and a little bit off when you the only one invited to your big passover ritual is your younger sisters freinds, right Mom was so proud of the promise of a man that I become with blue, blue eyes and golden, long locks so much like her own. She felt rooted in history she said. Me, I only felt weighed down. But as I now was almost a man, I had more control over my own looks. So that was something I changed very fast.
Mom really, was not pleased with my new look, I could see it in her eyes. But she did not say anything . And actually, her silent disapproval was worse than anything else. She tried to be kind, understanding and supportive but that was just sooo annoying. How could she even think she would ever know how I felt? She did not even know how long ago she had been a teenager, if she ever had been….
And Emma and Linn, my two kid-sisters, well on their good days they were pretty OK. If nothing else an entertaining way to kill time with. Emma especially was very easy to wind up to a frenzy. Give her just a tiny fragment and she would go after it with a high intensity. If she had been a dog she would have been chasing her tail for hours. Linn was somewhat cooler about things. She is almost as smart as I am and at times I felt we had a connection, but then she said or did something that showed how depressingly young she was.
If someone ever thought that beeing a teen was easy, then I would really, really like to have a serious eye-to-eye conversation with this person. Especially how talking with girls even could come close to being easy? My very first almost-date was with a girl called Louise a girl that atteneded the same classes as I did. With hindsight, I am wondering why she agreed to meet me that dreadful evening. Maybe it was because she felt pitty for a looser like me, or maybe (more likely) it was because she was evil incarnated. Anyway, I tried my very best pick-up lines on her with the best result being spelled D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. The pained look in her eyes said it all. No words needed!
Things did not become better that the school jock and bully Henrik Lilja just “happened” to pass by at that time. Normally I would have just walked away avoiding confrontation all together, but that night he just pushed the wrong buttons. Without knowing how it happened the glass with tomato juice was in my hand and then out of my hand….
Among all the drama, darkness and just plain chaos being a teenager I at least had one solid spot in my teen-tortured universe and that was Robin. Through all the crazyness he was the one place where I always felt like I could be myself without any reservations. He knew the REAL me even under the tough fasade.
We used to meet outside the old Juice Bar in Oasis Springs after class almost every day. We did not do much, we just sat there. Together. Sometimes just in silence and that was OK. Sometimes, we got really close and we could share our deepest secrets with each other and that was OK too. Robin was truly my closest freind and that was something I knew would never change!